Set an Intention, Not a Resolution
How To Create Lasting Change This Year
As originally published in Change Your Mind Change Your Life on Medium.com.
Photo: francescoch on iStock
Every New Year, millions of us set resolutions with the best intentions, only to find ourselves slipping back into old habits within months or even weeks. It’s a cycle that often leaves us feeling discouraged and disconnected from our desires.
But what if the problem isn’t our lack of willpower but the very nature of resolutions themselves?
In my experience, resolutions are often too rigid and restrictive, focusing on fixing flaws rather than nurturing growth. Instead of resolutions, I’ve found a more effective approach: setting intentions. Here’s why shifting your mindset could be the key to creating lasting, meaningful change in the year ahead.
Resolutions Are Too SpecificBy definition, a resolution is “a firm decision to do or not to do something.” This inherently makes them action-oriented rather than being-oriented. But we are human beings, not human doings.
Resolutions might work for short-term goals, like going for a run today, but they rarely have the staying power to keep us motivated throughout the year.
More often than not, they zero in on “fixing” something, which subtly reinforces a sense of inadequacy. For instance, resolving to lose weight highlights dissatisfaction with your current body. Deciding to get a better job serves as a reminder of unhappiness with your current one. Even a goal like “travelling more” can make you feel inadequate for not being adventurous enough.
It’s no wonder resolutions often fail — they focus on what’s lacking instead of nurturing what’s possible.
Resolutions Are Too RestrictiveI believe that when we deny ourselves something we enjoy, the outcome will never be what we wish it to be. Because we are coming from a place of lack.
Take the earlier examples: resolving to lose weight focuses on not having the body you desire right now, while aiming for a better job emphasises not being happy with your current position. These goals, while well-intentioned, fixate on what’s missing rather than on what’s possible.
This scarcity mindset can inadvertently attract more of the same — more lack — because where we place our attention, we place our energy. By concentrating on what we don’t have, we reinforce those feelings of insufficiency. And the universal law of attraction ensures our outer world mirrors our inner world.
If traditional resolutions haven’t worked for you, it might be time to shift your approach. Rather than focusing on what you want to eliminate, consider what you want to invite into your life. This change in perspective can transform your efforts and results.
Set an Intention, Not a ResolutionUnlike a resolution, which is a rigid promise to yourself, an intention is a mindset. It’s less specific than a goal like exercising three times a week, but it connects more deeply to what truly matters, leaving room for fulfilment in various ways.
Consider these examples of resolutions and their corresponding intentions:
Resolution: Meditate 5 times a week for 10 minutes each
Intention: Develop a calm mindResolution: Avoid junk food
Intention: Live more healthfullyResolution: Reconnect with an old hobby
Intention: Make more time for creativity and play
The difference may seem subtle, but it’s enough to shift how our actions take shape. For example, developing a calm mind could include meditating five times a week, but it also allows for other paths to the same goal — paths that keep us engaged and less likely to quit as time goes on.
This intention might lead to taking a mindfulness class, spending more time in nature, exploring wisdom traditions through books, or reassessing relationships. By moving away from a narrow, single focus, we open ourselves to a variety of opportunities to grow and thrive, often in unexpected ways.
An intention focuses on what’s possible versus trying to fix what we lack.
Are You Ready To Change?I meet many people who say they want change, but far fewer are actually ready to change.
It may sound counterintuitive, but the things we claim to dislike often fulfil an underlying need. For instance, if you long for attention and care, an illness might inadvertently provide this — whether through the support of doctors, nurses, or loved ones. While it may not be how you want to receive attention, the need itself is still being met.
To shift how our needs are fulfilled, we must turn inward and make intentional changes.
At its core, everything we desire stems from how we believe it will make us feel. Whether it’s love, success, health, or connection, the key is to identify the emotion tied to that desire and embody it now. By cultivating this elevated emotion and holding onto it, we align ourselves with the energy needed to bring our goals to life.
So as a final thought, to change, we need a clear intention with an elevated emotion. Together, these are the catalysts that transform desire into reality.
Wherever you are on your journey, always remember that YOU ARE ENOUGH.