Are Your Emotions Helping or Hurting You?
There’s a Difference Between Moving On and Moving Forward
As originally published in Change Your Mind Change Your Life on Medium.com.
Image: francescoch on iStock
For the longest time, I believed that “just getting on with it” was the best way to move past the difficult events in my life. It was always what I was told to do. It was all I’d ever known.
But from where I’m standing today, looking back, the result of ignoring the traumas and tragedies was moving on, but never forward.
Moving on is like walking in circles. At some point, the circle becomes a spiral. A downward spiral. It was only after I hit rock bottom that I learned the difference.
What We Feel Is What We Are LivingOur emotions determine the frequency at which we vibrate — because everything is energy. In turn, they determine our reality.
The more positive our emotions, the higher our vibrational frequency. The more negative our emotions, the lower our vibrational frequency.
The law of attraction then ensures we get more of what we are emitting.
Ten years ago my brother died suddenly. He was the closest person in my life and it felt like my world shattered.
His suspicious death left many unanswered questions and vultures who dragged me through six years of court out of jealousy and spite that I was the only person named in his will.
I was heartbroken, angry and overwhelmed — all low-vibration emotions — and attracted and fell for a narcissist’s love-bombing in the process.
And so my “moving on” went round and round in circles and eventually turned into a downward spiral. Because I never dealt with my grief. I couldn’t let my anger go.
I was busy all the time and had a hundred reasons as to why I had to do everything I was doing. But the truth was all of it was an excuse that allowed me to suppress my emotions.
Time Doesn’t Heal. Time Conceals.Conditioning has led so many to believe we need to be strong. But those also have an outdated definition of what being strong means.
Suppressing emotions represses our immune system, leading to weakness, not strength.
The role of the human emotional system is to let the good in (love, nurturing, etc) and keep the bad out. The immune system has the same function (good bacteria vs toxins). When we suppress one, we repress the other. Time does not heal. It conceals.
Our emotions affect our nervous system. The nervous system communicates with our biology to react to the emotion. That reaction is felt in the body.
A restricting or constricting thought contracts and tightens the physical body. An affirming, loving, gentle thought relaxes and softens the physical body.
Consistent and regular constricting and negatively charged thoughts will eventually create a physical issue. Because the energy is in opposition to our natural state of growth and expansion.
Over the course of six years of court and a toxic relationship, my body began to break down. I was depleted, emaciated, and chronically fatigued. I had brain fog and short-term memory loss, and my eyesight was deteriorating. I suffered a seizure. A disc in my lower spine herniated leading to near paralysis and emergency back surgery.
When we live in a constant state of negative emotions and stress, disease becomes inevitable because the long-term effects of the hormones of stress disregulate and downregulate genes to create disease.
A Memory Without the Emotional Charge Is Called WisdomWe don’t see things how they are. We see them how we are.
This is why two people can experience exactly the same event, but have vastly different interpretations and emotions of that event.
It’s not the events that matter; it’s the meaning we give to them. And there’s a story that goes along with every emotion.
My life didn’t begin to change until I was ready and willing to look inside myself for answers. Placing blame is much easier — I know — but will only ever allow us to move on, never forward.
Familiar feelings are a record of our past. And we can’t create a new future when our body is living in the past.
I needed to grieve. I needed to let go of my anger. I needed to understand how and why I became trapped in such a toxic relationship. I needed to get to the point where I could objectively look at my subjective self.
It was about overcoming my emotions, so I could change my future. So I could move forward.
Because moving forward means venturing into the unknown. It means we move with wisdom because our memories no longer hold an emotional charge.
Moving forward means new emotions — better ones. It means vibrating at a higher frequency so we begin attracting what we want instead of what we don’t want.
Our emotions are our compass. They tell us whether we are in alignment with our inner Being or not. The better we feel the more aligned we are. The worse we feel the more out of alignment we are.
My self-evolution journey has been rough. But it’s also been enlightening, empowering and enriching. And above all, it has given me the ability to always objectively look at my subjective self. Without emotional charge. Only wisdom. And therefore choose better thoughts and emotions.
Wherever you are on your healing journey, always remember that YOU ARE ENOUGH.
