How Much Pain Are Your Emotions Causing You?
An alternative approach to healing chronic disease
As originally published in Change Your Mind Change Your Life on Medium.com.
Image: francescoch on iStock
I’m all too familiar with pain — Back surgery due to a herniated disc which nearly paralysed me. A seizure. Chronic fatigue. Memory loss. Brain fog. Insomnia. Vision deterioration. Depression. And so much more. And that was just in my 30's.
Today, some 76% of all deaths are predicted to be caused by chronic non-communicable diseases (NCDs), and this figure is expected to increase to 86% over the next 15 years, according to the World Health Organisation.
Understanding the mind-body connection and incorporating lifestyle changes accordingly can arguably not only heal chronic health conditions but go a long way to preventing them in the future.
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Emotions Are Energy in MotionSo many of our bad habits and deep-seated beliefs we hold about ourselves originate in childhood. The reason for this is that young children do not possess logic, only emotion.
For the first 6 years of life, all of the attention is on the inner world because that’s where the brainwave patterns are (delta and theta).
For the six years after that, children move into the imaginary world (alpha). It is during this time, between the ages of 6–9, that the analytical mind develops, and a filter is created between the conscious and subconscious mind.
Image: Revival Health GmbH — adapted from Dr. Joe Dispenza’s work
When some or all of our basic needs of food, shelter, safety, love, and care are not met as children, we develop beliefs about ourselves. These might include beliefs such as “it’s my fault,” “I’m unworthy of love,” “I’m not enough”, or many others.
Until the age of six, a child is completely in its subconscious mind. All information coming in is coming in unencoded because it has no analytical facilities to be able to process it. So, whatever the child hears, it takes as reality.
In turn, we develop unhealthy coping behaviours as a survival mechanism. While these behaviours may be necessary as a child, by the time we reach our teenage years and adulthood, they are part of our subconscious operating system. Our survival no longer depends on them, yet it is all we’ve ever known. And so the negative emotions that are trapped begin to fester from within.
The role of the human emotional system is to let the good in (love, nurturing, etc) and keep the bad out. The immune system has the same function (good bacteria vs toxins). When you suppress one, you repress the other. Time does not heal. It conceals.
Our emotions affect our nervous system. The nervous system communicates with our biology to react to the emotion. That reaction is felt in the body.
A restricting or constricting thought contracts and tightens the physical body. An affirming, loving, gentle thought relaxes and softens the physical body.
Consistent and regular constricting and negatively charged thoughts will eventually create a physical issue. Because the energy is in opposition to our natural state of growth and expansion.
Pain Is Emotion Stored in the BodyEverything is energy. We are energy — all vibrating at certain frequencies.
Our emotions tell us about our vibrational frequency. And when we feel negative emotions our frequency is lowered.
This is important because what we are broadcasting sets our point of attraction.
From our teenage years onwards, most of our time is spent in beta brainwaves. Beta is our conscious awareness of our external world. We become more and more detached from our emotions.
Our analytical mind is an extension of the ego. When our ego is in check, it takes care of the body (moves us away from danger, etc). But when our ego is driven by the hormones of stress, it moves out of balance and our hormones begin to endorse the ego which leads it to become overly analytical. When this happens, it goes into high beta.
When we try to analyse in high beta, we move even further into high beta, which means the brain is in a state of incoherence, and further away from our original operating system (alpha and theta).
When in high beta, we are unable to listen to or believe anything that isn’t equal to the emotion we are feeling at the time. We’ll auto-suggest to ourselves thoughts that are equal to that emotion.
Simply put, the more negative our thoughts and beliefs, the more bad habits we create. The more bad habits we have, the more stress we create for ourselves. The more stress we have, the more pain we add to the body. Dis-ease is almost inevitable.
We Don’t See Things How They AreWe see them how we are because emotions connect us to memories.
How someone treats us is their story. How we react and/or respond is ours.
There are infinite ways to respond to the events in our lives, and no two people will ever respond in exactly the same way. We interpret events through our own, unique lenses. And our interpretations create our reality.
Image: Revival Health GmbH — adapted from Dr. Joe Dispenza’s work
Six years in a toxic relationship not only stripped me of my sense of self, but didn’t allow me to grieve the death of my brother, mother, and grandmother. Unhealthy work environments didn’t align with my values, and in turn, took their toll.
It felt like I was in an uncontrollable, never-ending downward spiral. And that’s because thoughts and feelings gather momentum. When we continue to think the same thoughts and feel the same feelings as the day before, this momentum garners force resulting in a future equal to our past.
This is the definition of predictability. A prediction is to “foretell on the basis of observation, experience, or scientific reason” according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, meaning it is based on historical information. And we can’t see a future through the lens of the past.
Before long, it’s like we are on a freight train going in the wrong direction. And for better or worse, change often only happens when it is forced upon us — a tragedy, a trauma, a breakdown.
The point of change often only comes when our current level of discomfort outweighs the discomfort and fear of the unknown which inevitably accompanies change.
How To Change DirectionsTo have a different future then, it must be unpredictable, meaning we cannot think the same thoughts and feel the same feelings that are familiar to us, but must choose new thoughts and new feelings.
We cannot drive a car safely by looking in the rear-view mirror. It will inevitably end badly.
However, we also cannot suddenly stop a high-speed freight train. This will also end badly.
The key is to slow it down. Eventually, stop it. And then begin moving in the opposite direction.
To help slow it down, there are two questions I would urge anyone unhappy with their current circumstances to consider.
1. What meaning are you giving to the events of your past?
For example, say two people are hit by a car and paralysed for life. One person may fall into a deep depression and curse life and everyone in it for suffering such a tragic fate. The other might use their situation to garner attention and become a motivational speaker around the world.
The reason for differences lies not in the event, but in the meaning we give to it. And that is based on the deep-seated beliefs we hold about ourselves.
Being able to take an objective look at our subjective selves is not only a valuable skill but an essential part of change.
2. Who or what is worth it?
Holding on to rage, resentment, or revenge are all-consuming emotions which gather momentum in the wrong direction.
So who does holding on to these emotions serve?
The person or thing we are angry at does not care. They have moved on. They are not affected by our negative emotions. But we are.
Who or what is worth us holding on to hurt for months, years, decades?
Who or what is worth us sacrificing our health, happiness, opportunities, freedom, love, sanity, or abundance for?
I would argue nobody and nothing.
I have been wronged by plenty of people in my life. I have been hurt, humiliated, belittled, betrayed, bullied, extorted, robbed, used, assaulted and abused.
For years the suppressed pain ruled my life — and the only person who suffered more was me.
Changing direction is largely dependent on the ability to let go. Easier said than done. I know. But I wrote more about how to in “Release, Renew, Revive: A Practical Approach to Letting Go.”
It’s About Progress, Not PerfectionChanging the direction of the momentum in my life has taken years, but the more I learn about the mind-body connection, the more tools I have at my disposal for doing so.
I now also understand that if our mind and body had the ability to create something “unwanted” within us, they equally have the ability to undo it.
In my experience, the journey is not linear. Instead, it’s filled with ups and downs. But the downs have become shorter and ‘less deep’ because I understand how to slow, stop, and change my momentum.
Wherever you are on your healing journey, always remember that YOU ARE ENOUGH.
